January 31st marked our 6 month anniversary, and at that point I still had not changed my name. Patrick was asking a little more often if I was ever going to do it, and with the added possibility of moving overseas, I finally got all the paper work in order to get the process started. I hadn't been putting it off because I was sad to see Buttery go, I was really just being lazy, but as I was filling in my application, getting ready to write my new name, I was a little panicky. With a last name like Buttery, it can sort of define you. In elementary school I got laughed at by other kids(and some teachers) and had to decide if I was going to cry or laugh along with them. In middle school nicknames were more commonly used than my actual first name, and by high school I was mainly just called "Buttery". With new people in college there were plenty of people who didn't believe me that that was my last name, so I would smile and assure them that yes, my name really is Amanda Buttery, and yes, I have heard every possible rendition so please, try to be original. As a teacher, I really grew to love my last name because as one student said, "when I looked at my schedule and saw I had a teacher named Miss Buttery, I knew she would be cool." Students said it made them feel like I was going to be nice and they felt more comfortable sooner because I didn't mind when they laughed a little when I introduced myself. And I can only think of one student who didn't drop the Miss and just call me Buttery. Even parents would end emails with "we love your last name!"
Sometimes, Patrick will comment on something that I do and say, "that's such a Buttery thing." And to me, that's 99% of the time a compliment. Buttery's are respectful, generous, punctual, exceptional planners and time managers, always thinking ahead, always have a plan B, C,and D. We put others first and always lend a helping hand. We are fun, we do our best at things we find important to us, and we stand up for what we believe in. I don't need to list the qualities that make up the other 1% of his comments!
My last name is unique and happy, and a conversation starter. It stands for my family's values and goals which I strive to meet. What more could I want?!
So maybe I was putting it off more intentionally than I even knew.
But I did it. I kept my middle name Kathryn, and dropped Buttery completely. Kathryn comes from my mom's side, the Hamilton's, and I could not stand to lose that connection. My parents and brother and growing nephew will keep me grounded in the Buttery name.
Patrick knew I was a little melancholy the day we went to process the application, and when I got home from work that evening he had decorated the house, and bought champagne and flowers and a really beautiful card. It made the day even more special and i will always remember it as a celebration!
I got my new Social Security card int he mail today. "Amanda Kathryn Howell" It just looks weird. You would think after practicing writing my name like that in the years we were dating would have prepared me, but man, I just don't think of my self as Amanda Howell yet. When does that happen?
I am so proud to be Patrick's wife, and a part of the Howell family, who has welcomed me from day one with wide open arms. I am proud to be one of the few that will be carrying on their family name and all that they stand for.
But still a little sad to say bye bye Buttery...
