The Host

There are a lot of freaky things that go along with pregnancy.  Highly disturbing, not appropriate to mention on the internet or in public, freaky deaky shiza goes on every day.  The MOST unsettling part though, is seeing my baby move from the outside.  Now that she has finally popped out from behind my rib cage and is more snuggly pressing against my stomach, we can pretty much see her every little move.  I love feeling her move, although that was an adjustment at first, but seeing my stomach role like the Carribean Sea makes me feel like I am something straight out of a horror movie, like The Host or Alien.
 This morning was a particularly active morning for baby.  On weekends we like to have some breakfast, and I like to go back to bed to read or snooze a little, and Patrick plays the guitar.  This morning he was sitting on the bed with me, playing his new tune called "_insert baby's name here's morning song".  She just loves this song, and started dancing right along with it.  Arms and legs and knees were flying, and Patrick and I got quite the show.    At one point there were two distinct body parts moving in two different directions across my stomach.  And when she thrust a little fist or knee or something up and held it there, I poked it and it immediatly recended.  Your first reaction  might be that she is responding to a mother's touch.  My first reaction is: Weird.  Just weird. It is wonderful knowing that she is growing and getting stronger, but man, it gives me day-mares of giving birth to a terrifying creature that will reak havoc on the world, or at least the surrounding areas.   I think most women like seeing their babies moving and I am told that the more pregnant I get, the more I will see the baby moving, to the point where I may even see a little foot or hand outline.  I think it is best for me to just not look down from here on out, until the doctor confirms upon birth that it is in fact a beautiful girl baby, and not a horrifying monster baby.  

Just in case you didn't realize the picture above isn't me, here are some pictures of whats going on with the tum tum.  These were taken at 26 weeks.

Anyway, on to my top ten!

1.  Our next door neighbor, who is also about 7 months pregnant, sells avocados and mangos which we buy fresh and cheap almost everyday.

2.  I booked my flights home, and I now only have 26 days until I am states bound!

3.  Our own private beach spot.

4.  Next weekend Patrick and I are taking a mini baby moon to the capital.  Since we spend all our free time at the beach anyway, we are going to go to the movies, eat at a real restaurant, and sleep in air conditioning!

5.  We squelched a bad guy.

6.  I passed my Glucose tolerance test.  This is a big deal, meaning I don't have gestational diabetes.  Quite the feat considering my sweet tooth and lack of will power to resist it.

7.  Prunes with the seeds in them.

8.  Really cute kids and their smiley faces.

9.  The super market sells cream cheese, one of the rare American foods they carry, which has been coming in handy lately as I have been experiencing 2am hunger pangs for a few weeks now.

10.  This weekend, every member of my family is spending time with some of their best friends in differnent parts of the US (except me of course).  I don't know why this makes me so happy, I just think lifelong friends are a really special thing.

Damn it feels good to be a .....

Teacher.   

It is hard to imagine that it has been 9 months since I was in the classroom, and well over a year since I was teaching full time.  Honestly, the school where I was teaching in Atlanta was such a joke, I felt more like a group home resident advisor than a teacher, I don’t know if those months even count as legit teaching.  What is most surprising is how seamlessly I left it all behind, when for some three and a half years it was all consuming.  My days, nights, and weekends were spent in the classroom, planning for the classroom, on the field, in the pool, attending sporting events and plays and student government retreats, chaperoning Prom and homecoming and every other freaky student dance, chatting with students and parents at the movie theatre, restaurant, grocery store, and once, at the bar (who can say awkward!).  I rarely saw my boyfriend (now husband), and even less frequently saw friends.  And I loved it.  And I was pretty good at it.  And I LOVED it.

Somehow though, I haven’t really even missed it too much.  I think that marriage has been such a fulfilling adventure, along with cross country and then international moves, that I just didn’t really focus on the fact that I had left a huge part of my life behind me.  When I left the “school” in Atlanta, I really thought I was done with teaching, that the passion and enjoyment was gone.  I even started looking into other carreer options.

Including as a personal chef...I don't think that ones going to pan out so well. 

Last week though, I started teaching in two of our partnership schools.  Partnership schools are schools that are outside the villages we are housed in.  They have need for financial support, as well as some leadership amongst the teachers.  We do not have a contract holding the teachers accountable with them like we do in La Hoya and Bombita, and we don’t provide materials to the same extent as in our home schools, but we do send two local women to teach art, and I teach English to the fourth graders.  We also invite the teachers and directors to our workshops and trainings, and try to impart new teaching and classroom management strategies whenever possible.  This also helps the COPA schools because the two partnership school only go to fourth grade, and then as fifth graders the students come to school in La Hoya. We typically have to create a separate fifth grade class just for the students coming in from the partnership schools because they are at such a low level in all content areas.

ANYWAY...I didn’t even really think about being excited or emotional about being in the classroom again, but as soon as I walked in the door it was like a part of me long lost had been found again.  I know it sounds cheesy.  You don’t know how many times I deleted and re-typed that statement.   I’ve accepted the cheese now though.  Maybe some of you don’t get it, and that’s fine.  I really love teaching, even though these are fourth graders and I really don’t like that whole upper elementary age group much, it doesn’t seem to matter.  I really really like to teach!  I am supposed to teach the first English lesson of the week to each fourth grade class, and then our local volunteers teach the second class, but I don’t know if I can keep myself out!  I just feel so much more accomplished at the end of the day when I have been teaching.  I even get excited to make my lesson plans and prepare for the classes.  I don’t know how I ever thought I could be happy in an administrator’s position, which is basically what the rest of my job is.  I also don’t know if I could be happy as a stay at home mom, which I have always wanted to be, and Patrick and I have been planning on.  I’m guessing that as soon as I see that little face I won’t want to be anywhere but with her.  For now though, I am so glad to be back in the classroom, and I hope I don’t ever forget how much I love it (again).

I think I will do this at the end of each blog now...The things I am loving right now.  It helps me stay positive.

1.  Being back in the classroom (obvi)

2. This little guy who has been keeping me company as I wrote this blog.

3.  My baby girl practicing her dance moves when I lay down at night. It gives me a chance to focus on her and really connect.

4.Did I say cold showers last time?  Yesterday I took four cold showers, each one better than the last.

5. My newest kitchen creation, which started off as a meatloaf scramble (which was originally slated to be ground beef and sautéed onions and peppers for a curry dish), and turned in to the most delicious Philly steak and cheese I have ever had in the Dominican Republic.

6.   Patrick squeezing my rib cage, occasionally popping the ribs back where they need to be, because this baby is ridin high!

This picture doesn't even do my pain justice.  She is ALL up IN my rib cage!

7.  I don’t have to wear makeup or do my hair.  I guess I never HAD to, and often times I didn’t, but there is just zero pressure here.  Plus my sort of curly hair actually likes humidity, so if its not up in a pony tail, its lookin’ good anyway!

8. Target.  I just ordered a bunch of (adorable!) summery clothes for our girl at half off because they are bringing out their fall and winter clothes, which we will never need because it is summer here all year round. 

9. The bakery across the street from my doctor’s office.  Yeah for Carbs!

10. The facemask my mom brought when she came down…my pores are visibly smaller! 

Iz a Guuuurllll!

A week ago today Patrick, my mom and I went to the clinic to have our gender sonogram done!  Patrick and I went in together first, and the technician started doing his thing, checking various parts of the anatomy to make sure the baby is growing correctly.  Eventually Ih ad to ask " soooooo?  what are you seeing?"  He told me that the baby's legs were crossed, and we might not be able to find out.  Then I hear him whisper in English (with a French accent interestingly enough) "I think its a girl..."  then he sat up real straight and and says "she moved! Its a girl!"  (it sounded like "she mow! Iz a guuuuurl!" an accent I will never for get)  I let out a little "WOOP!" and Patrick may or may not have momentarily blacked out.  My mom was called in then, and we got to see the baby's little  lady parts just to be sure.  And we saw her little face and she had a tiny little hand all snuggled up there next to it like she was waving at us.
The next 30 minutes is sort of a blur. We were really surprised because even though I had not so secretly been hoping for a girl, we both really thought it would be a boy.  I don't know why, but even when my mom saw me she felt pretty strongly it would be a boy too.  I had been picturing baby boy clothes, baby boy nursery, growing up boy activities, and baby boy names, and was getting pretty excited about all that boyish goodness.  So when he said girl, my entire picture of this baby morphed, in slow motion, through now rose tinted glasses.  Patrick says he went through a similar process, and sometimes the look on his face tells me he is still processing the information.

So anyway, we are thrilled to be having a girl, and here are few more things I have been thrilled about this week:

1-Our ultrasound cost only 600 pesos, which is only $15.79.  That's one heck of a deal.

2-Tums are delicious.  Good thing, because I have been having some MAD heartburn!

3-4th graders LOVE to learn English and talk about dogs.  It makes one aspect of my job very easy and enjoyable.

4-My husband does dishes after I cook, and chases mice out of the oven in the middle of the night.

5- My mom came, bearing bags and bags of instant oatmeal.  Now I start my day off right!

6-I have a maid that cleans my house and does the laundry once a week, for less than 30 bucks a MONTH!

7-The haitian kids across the street are my personal welcoming comittee everytime I come home from work. They seriously wait at the fence to see me coming and start waving and calling "Hola, hola!" as soon as they catch a glimpse.

8-Our evening walk is down a plaintain farm's farm road, lined with palm trees and mango trees, and avacado trees.  Often with a glorious sunset.

9-I like my job.

10-I learn a new Spanish word almost every day.  Today the word was fin, like a fish's fin.  En Espanol, Aleta.

Whoa. What!?

So, we don't have a full length mirror in our house.  In fact, the only mirrors I have access to in the village are small bathroom vanity mirrors that show me from, um, boob up.  The only view I have of my body is looking stright down it.  Honestly, until a few days ago, I thought I wasn't really showing.   My clothes still fit about the same, and I haven't gotten stuck in any doorways yet, so I figured maybe I just look a little pudgy, but not.....pregnant.  So one day, I put on a dress that isn't tight (that's never really been my thing) but it hugs in just the right places.  Or should I say it USED to hug the right places!  I thought it was fine by my downward glance, but I went in to town and caught my reflection in a big store window and SHABAM!  I got a baby belly goin on!!  I stopped dead in my tracks and had to make sure the white girl I saw in the reflection was really me.  At first I was a bit taken aback, felt like I might start beeping if I backed up.  Apon closer inspection however (yes, I crossed the street to be closer to the window) things aren't looking too bad!  I very quickly became very proud of that baby bump, and now I am just loving showing it off.  I am so glad that people no longer have to wonder if I am pregnant or just eating too much rice and beans.  And that I don't have to wonder if they are wondering....  Also, I have been wanting to make friends with some pregnant women in the village, maybe start a walking group, but I always worried they wouldn't think I was pregnant enough.  I expressed this to one of our new volunteers and she assured me with a once over that "oh no, your are surely more that enough pregnant!" So that's my new goal: make some pregnant women be my friends and convince them that pregnancy is not an illness and no, they do not need to go on partial bedrest the entire 9 months, as is common practice here.

Not the black dress I was referring to, and you can't really see the bump...oh well!!!

Also in baby news, we have got a boxer soccer player extraodinaire on the way!  I finally felt the baby move, and Patrick has been able to feel movement on the outside too!  Mainly it moves when I eat, so pretty much all day long.  No but really, after a meal this baby gets movin'.  We went to the beach this weekend and as soon as I was floating in the waves, kickboxing for fetuses started up full force.  Is there such a thing as double weightlessness?  I don't know if it was a coincidence or if the baby just really likes to swim, I haven't been back to the beach yet to test it out.

My mom flies in tomorrow for a visit and I am so excited to show her around our little slice of heaven (just a saying, we still live in a poverty stricken village).  Included in the trip is a trip to the clinic to have the THE  ultrasound done.   I should be able to post by Tuesday if we've got a Jack or a Jill on the way!  

Lasly, I have to give a shout out to my best friend Cat(herine).  Most everything has paled in comparrison to this baby, but Cat's recent engagement and July 2012 wedding just has me all twitterpated!    I miss her so much, and coming home to have the baby is a really good excuse to be in the same state for four months!  

one whole year!

Our first wedding anniversary is tomorrow!  I flipped back in my day planner to this week one year ago, and it was so fun to remember the things we were doing and planning for the wedding, honeymoon, and move to Atlanta.  It was impossible to imagine at that point all the changes we would face in this first year, from moving to expecting a baby!  Who knew?!  We have had so much fun and we continue to grow closer everyday, through every new experience.  I am so lucky to have married my best friend, biggest supporter, and someone that challenges me to be a better person.  I can't wait to see what year number two has in store for us!

Here is a quick look back on our amazing, adventure filled first year together.

Our Beautiful Wedding!

Paddleboarding on our Honeymoon.

Canoeing the Chatahoochee river with the dogs.

Some of the awsome friends we made in Alanta came together to build a softball team.

Enjoying a night out in Atlanta

Group trip to Helen for Oktoberfest

Patrick carving our very first Thanksgiving turkey in our home.

Celebrating Christmas at the Broadamore.

Our first Christmas morning together as husband and wife.

Breaking it down after a dinner party.

The sign I made for our front door, and the decorations Patrick put up when I changed me name.

Enjoying a ski trip in Colorado

Just hanging out at home...

One of the last get togethers with friends before we moved.

The day we moved ALL of our belonging into storage AND the day we found out I was pregnant.  

Our first day in the Dominican Republic

Smootching in Santo Domingo.

The low down

This past month we have finally started to feel more at home here.  Our little house is now comfy, not cramped, the heat and bugs are bearable, I feel more ownership in my job, and even though our social life is still not quite satisfying, we no longer feel bewildered by the Dominican approach to friendship.  I have started cooking more and better meals, working out more regularly, and Patrick and I are loving all the time we get to spend together, and the little routine we have developed of reading the upcoming week in pregnancy each Sunday, taking walks down farm roads, and our morning commute together, only 100 yards from  our house.   My early pregnancy symptoms have pretty much gone away, and I feel less worried on a day to day basis about the baby's health now that we are in week 15!  Also, having shared the pregnancy news with everybody was such a relief, and I have started to see how this could be a very positive community to be a first time mom in. ( I know that's a dangling modifier or something, but who can be bothered to say "in which to be..."?)
My first prenatal appointment was awful.  I went to the most highly recommended doctor in the region, and she was one step above putting the laboring woman under general anesthesia.  Many shocking details I could go into but I just hate to relive it. We had pretty much decided by that time that we weren't comfortable giving birth here, or having a newborn here, and this appointment sealed the deal.  I will becoming home to have the baby!  This makes things a bit tricky with work though, since I will have to leave for Colorado between 30-32 weeks (November), spend a month and a half with out Patrick before he comes for Christmas and baby's birth, then stay in CO another 8 weeks, Patrick would leave after 6 weeks, so at least 2 more weeks apart.  Then I would head back to the DR with the baby, and start work again, after having been gone four months.  Its not the most ideal situation, Patrick got teary eyed thinking of missing those last weeks of pregnancy, and I am worried the baby will come early and he won't be home yet.  There ARE some up sides, namely baby's health and my health, having family close for the birth, and all that time with friends and family!
It is pretty hard to imagine having a baby here at all.  When I pictured life with a baby, I thought of being a stay at home mom, being a part of mom's groups, stroller walking groups, trips to the park, baby music class, homemade organic baby food,  a pretty nursery, and competent doctors.  Life with a baby here would be NOTHING like that.  We haven't looked hard for a good pediatrician, so we still might find that.  However, if we were to leave the DR for good, I wouldn't be able to stay home with the baby. We sold everything we own, including our cars, and there is no way we could start over again on one salary.  HERE, I could work from home in the morning, have a two hour siesta from 12-2 and have a babysitter for the afternoon.  Patrick would be able to spend that siesta with us and all that family time is so appealing.  Also, even when we are in the office, we are less than a five minute walk from home, so we can check in on the sitter or if we just have to see that baby! Finding someone we trust to stay with our baby will be hard, but assuming we can find good medical care and a trustworthy sitter, how could we pass up the opportunity for that schedule?!  When it comes down to it, time with our baby far outweighs the mom's groups, music classes etc... and who knows maybe I can start a mom's group here!  

whew!  TMI?  Maybe.

I didn't include any pictures in the last two posts, so here are some randoms!

Oh and by the way....

I'm pregnant!  

Due January 1st, 12 weeks along, I'm feeling mostly good but tired, and we are in the process of deciding what to do, where to have the baby, talking to the boss, looking at hospital options, etc...

More later!